James Clarke Masthead
May 21 2012 at 11:04

In this world of casual, short-lived marriages and the break-up of the extended family, there are some weird relationships.

I am told of two men meeting at a bus stop and striking up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.

The other man said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

“A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married.

“Later my father married my stepdaughter, which made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson, also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

“Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son, but he was also the son of my wife’s daughter, which made him my wife’s grandson.

“That made me the grandfather of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.

“This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in-law.

“My wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my own grandfather! And you think you have family problems?”

Then Fiona Harris sent me this:

Susie-Lee done fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy ’bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie Gal,
You’ll have to find another
I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will,
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, There’s trouble still.

You can’t marry Will, my gal,
And please don’t tell yo’ mother
But Will, like Joe, and several mo’
I know is yo’ half brother.

But Mama knew and said, My child,
Just do what makes yo’ happy.
Marry Will, or marry Joe:
You ain’t no kin to Pappy

IN THE ALPHABET SOUPAfter being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.


He looked at her for a while and said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asked, “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot”.

She smiled happily and said, “That’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in his eye is going down.

Esteemed Sir,



I would like to share with you a recent experience regarding drinking and driving. The law is justifiably harsh on those who drink and drive.

The other night I was out for dinner and had a few drinks with friends. I realised I was over the legal limit and so did something I’ve never done before. I took a bus home.

I arrived home without incident.  This was a real surprise because I had never before driven a bus. – Tony Fleischer, Joburg

JUST A THOUGHT I was delighted to see that Ahmed Kathrada – one of the last of the wise men of the ANC – was getting the freedom of the City of Johannesburg.


Regarding the politicians who have now taken over the party I have come to the conclusion that instead of giving one of them the keys to the city it would be better to change the locks.

Contact Stoep: E-mail: jcl@onwe.co.za; Website: www.jamesclarke.co.za;
Blog: http://stoeptalk.wordpress.com 



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